Saturday, February 27, 2010
Unit 3: love spelled backwards is love
I was thinking of an apt video or movie to review on regarding Relation Formation and Development, and i came across a music video by the 3rd runner up American Idol of season i'm-not-sure-what; one of the recent ones i think, this sexy dude Jason Castro. Oh what would make this dreamboat wanna fall in love again (in which i assume meaning going back to the beginning of a relationship where everything is sweet and it is the 'honeymoon period' all over again)...i could only think of a few theories that would support his decision of doing so. According to Knapp's model of Relational Development, Stages 1-5 are the stages of partners coming together.
The beginning stages 1-2 (Initiating, experimenting) are the stages that presumably make up the 'honeymoon period'. For example, in stage 1- the Initiating period, a couple is cautious and 'safe' towards each other while all the more being self conscious. Obviously at this stage, fighting ot conflicts are distant while infatuation takes over.
In stage 2 (Experimenting), the couple is just starting to get to know each other a little bit more. Similarly, love is in the air; each partner has eyes only for the other; like Jason Castro has mentioned in his song, " We'll lose track of all the time, and we'll tell everyone that we ain't never felt so alive"..awww.
I doubt stage 3 (Intensifying) is part of the "honeymoon period" package. This is because stage 3 is all about increased commitment, awareness and participation. The relationship might still be steady and going strong, but the excitement of getting to know and exploring on another might have already worn off.
What makes stages 1 and 2 the best stages of a relationship is probably the fact that a couple do not know each other well enough for conflicts and problems to arise. Furthermore, unlike stages 4 and 5 (Integrating, Bonding), there are no responsiblities, commitments and obligations involved just yet.
Well...now we know why Jason wants to fall in love again, don't we now?
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omg this vid is so sweet n jason castro is to die forrr...i agree with the fact that stages 1 and 2 prolly make up the honeymoon period..not that sure about stage 3 though. might or might not...perhaps it depends on the couple itself..there are definitely other factors that might affect the length of the infatuation period
ReplyDeleteStage 3 (Intensifying) is pretty much debatable..to me, stage 3 is still the stage where conflicts and problems have not arisen yet..i mean,being commited does not mean not being crazily in love right?
ReplyDeletewho knew a relationship could be broken down into levels; and heck-even has theories to define its existance...how odd
ReplyDeletehoneymoon period is the best mann.i duno for me the in a relationship, the honeymoon period does not have to end...if it is a great relationship then the honeymoon period is like..forever.aww..cheesy right. but one cant deny that the starting of the relationship is always the best
ReplyDeletewad abt stage 4 and 5? oh hmm well i think yea i think this is the part where players dun like... the commitment and the understanding of the other's characters etc etc. i think tt's e part alot of ppl are scared of cz it takes alot of effort. integrating and bonding needs that certain chemistry to fire things up, and that certain commitment and strength to the rlsp from both parties especially when they argue even when they're angry at each other. it;s true wad they say, u only learn some thigns bat the other person when u FIGHTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!! like if he gets violent etc etc. u can't learn his angry side when all is lovey dovey all the time like during the 'honeymoon' period.
ReplyDeletei think some guys just show a totally fake side during honeymoon period. when u get to the integrating and bonding part (especially integrating), or rather after a year of the relationship, he might turn into a diff person like let's say he might start looking at other girls. then he will leave you to FALL IN LOVE AGAIN! AHA!!!!
ReplyDeletei just think its queer
ReplyDeletei think its queer too but oh wells. what to do.communication is queer :s ok maybe not. a nicer way to put it would be..umm...theres a theory behind everything?
ReplyDeleteif there is, then how do u measure love?muahahaha. and how do u mend a broken heart?oops do i sound cheesy
ReplyDeleteif im not wrong love is not a feeling..its an acumulated emotion ure addicted to.something like that.hahaha.so technically love does not exist?
ReplyDeleteoh yaaaa i learned that in abnormal psych marion's class..hahaha..man thats sad.love is not even a feeling. sigh.
ReplyDeleteonly the more mature ones get to stage 4 and 5 AND last through it i think. scratch that, they don't get through it...it's a lifetime commitment. the word commitment is there for a reason bcz u gotta work on ur relationship every single day. love doesn't come easy. tt's where similari traits and characters and understanding/give and take is so impt.
ReplyDeleteof only we could learn about the measurement of love instead of the chronicles of a relationship.blearghh
ReplyDeletewhat?? u mean u guys got relationships down to TEXTBOOK?! nooo!!!!! and here i am thinking love is so unorthodox and anything can happen etc. ): our life is so routine, u can track it down to stages. like...like monkey-growth stages. me not likes. but oh how i do love the honeymoon period. all those pretty gifts and trinkets before the boy gets whiny and boring and clingy.
ReplyDelete